The State of Grace

List Day - Bumper Stickers that Annoy Me

2011-04-27T09:56:00.000-07:00

Hi all! Time again for List Day. Today's list is in honor of my car's rear bumper, which was smashed to holy hell last night by an unknown jerky assailant who didn't bother to leave a note. Probably just as well because I'm sure he or she didn't have insurance anyway, but I am still pissed. Anyhoo, the list for today is:

Bumper Stickers that Annoy Me!

1. Stickers announcing the car owner/driver's support for a past presidential campaign. Fool, it is seriously time for you to scrape that "Hoover/Curtis '28" sticker off your bumper. Dude has exhausted his maximum allotted terms and been out of office for 394782139 years already. Let's move on.

2. "It's a Jeep thing...you wouldn't understand" stickers. These are stupid. No, I don't understand, because I don't drive a Jeep. I hate that kind of elitist bumper sticker propaganda. They should make them for everyone's car. I should have one on MY back window that says, "It's a Mitsubishi 4-cylinder sedan thing...you wouldn't understand."

3. "If you can read this..." bumper stickers. All these do is force me to inch my car even closer to the car with the sticker, because I want to know what it says. Bumper stickers that encourage tailgating are probably a bad idea.

4. OBX stickers and the like. It took me like half my life to figure out that "OBX" stands for "Outer Banks, NC". But what do all the other random ones stand for? I can't deal with the frustration of trying to figure out the other jumbles of letters that apparently signify an undisclosed geographic locale. I am driving along like, "What the hell does 'ZXK' stand for?!"

5. Giant soccer ball stickers. Do you really want to advertise to the whole entire driving population that you're a soccer mom? Come on, we already figured it out by the fact that your SUV/minivan is the size of the state of Nevada, and there is nary a horse trailer, large motorboat, or tow hitch in sight. Doy.

In other news, after church on Easter Sunday, in the parking lot we saw a car that had giant fake eyelashes on its headlights. I thought it was the cutest thing. I asked the car owner where they got them and they told me about Carlashes.com. I would buy them for my car, but my car is a boy.

List Day - All-time Favorite Albums

2011-04-14T17:29:00.000-07:00

OK, I already broke a promise to blog more often. But I've had about 2983742 stationery orders to work on this week so I hope people will forgive me. Anyway, I present to you List Day for this week, Grace's Favorite Albums of All time. This list doesn't contain compilations (like greatest hits albums), classical music, or soundtracks...I think those all belong in their own categories. Here they are, in order:

1. Billy Joel - Turnstiles (1976). Since he's my favorite artist of all time, makes sense that this is at the top of the list. Also holds the distinction of having my favorite song of all time on it,"Miami 2017 (Seen the Lights Go Out on Broadway)". Also, if you know me at all you are aware of my well-documented love for Richard Belzer, and that is him on the way-right side of the photo that's on the album cover.

2. Jethro Tull - Songs From the Wood (1977). Buy this album right now. You will love it. Trust.

3. Emerson, Lake & Palmer - Pictures At An Exhibition (1971). If you are a fan of awesome percussion, bass, and keyboards and a lover of classical music (particularly if you have heard the piano suite by Mussorgsky), you should give this one a listen. I rediscovered it last year when the 'rents got it for me for Christmas and I remembered how awesome it was, and now I listen to it constantly.

4. Enya - Shepherd Moons (1991). Don't hate on Enya. She composes all her own lyrics, sings in like seven different languages, and also used to be a part (with her siblings) of the excellent Irish group Clannad.

5. Paul Simon - Graceland (1986). I love this album because it's such an eclectic mix of styles. He blends Cajun and African music (and features Linda Ronstadt on one track, whose voice I love), and it is just an amazing collection of music.

Until next week my friends...feel free to comment with your own picks for your fave albums of all time and suggest to me another list I can do next week, because I am too lazy to do it on my own right now.

No seriously, WORST. BLOGGER. EVER.

2011-04-11T08:26:00.000-07:00

Nice. I haven't posted on here since 2009. So, now I am saying to myself, "Either have a blog, or don't have a blog, a-hole." I answer myself that I do want a blog, because it's a good way to share news and stuff I'm doing, and sometimes I can post stuff on there that I wouldn't put on Facebook. I realize that that makes me sound kind of self-absorbed, but if you know me (which you probs do if you're reading my blog), you know that's not me at all, so I'm not too worried about it.

Well, since I've been away from this blog, lots of stuff has happened. I've been doing a lot of scrapbooking, a lot of invitation design (will soon have a website that I can link to actually), and have also started volunteering at DAWS (Danbury Animal Welfare Society) which has basically changed my life. Animals rule. I should have known all along that I should be working around animals in some way on a regular basis, so I'm glad I finally got my head out of an area in which it shouldn't have been and decided to volunteer there. The critters are great and the people are awesome. YAY for DAWS. Check out our website and adopt a kitty or a doggie, or multiple kitties or doggies, from us!

Anyhoo, I'm planning on taking a bit of a new direction with this bad boy. I have been inspired by people from the scrapbooking community and would like to start posting pictures of my work on here, to get feedback and also just to show what I'm working on. I also figure it's a good idea for me to make some kind of attempt at regular posting, so from now on, every Tuesday will be "List Day". I love making lists, and this way I have a prompt once a week about something to write about, whether it's a list of songs I hate or things I would like to do before I die or whatever. I will be happy to accept suggestions for lists that people want to see, and I want people to post in the comments with their own lists for whatever topic I've posted. It is a stupid thing to write about, but my good friend, an author, says that anything that gets you to write is a good thing, and she is smart so I should take her advice :) So tomorrow is the first List Day.

Whee! I guess that's it for now. I seriously suck as a blogger, but will try to be a better one. Thanks for reading, and thanks for sticking with me even though the last time I posted was apparently during the Van Buren administration.

I'm the worst blogger ever

2009-12-04T11:01:00.000-08:00

Seriously! I haven't updated since October...that is dumb. My early New Year's resolution is to blog more often.

Anyway, since I last posted, Shawn and I went on a freaking great vacation to The Atlantis in the Bahamas. It was SO MUCH FUN, we totally didn't want to come home. For your viewing pleasure, here is a video (complete with music haha) of some of our favorite pics from our vacation (also some videos within the slideshow, like of us going down the Leap of Faith Mayan Temple slide, which is scary as all hell).

Obviously, we had a great time. I would highly recommend a trip to The Atlantis...there is seriously something there for everyone. There's something to see and do around every corner, lots of places to explore, and if you plan it right, I really don't think it's that much more expensive than any other tropical vacation. All that being said, here are a few tips we would give to anyone planning a trip down there:

1. When they tell you to make restaurant reservations before you get there, they're not kidding. I didn't listen, and had trouble trying to get into a couple of the restaurants (like Bobby Flay's Mesa Grill, at which we ate at the bar because the whole place was booked up for three days. No big deal, it was still awesome, but maybe would have been more awesome if we'd been able to get a table.)

2. The food is great, but pretty expensive. We didn't end up with $827568276 in credit card debt when we got home, only because we specifically decided NOT to charge any of our dinners to the room. We either paid cash or used a debit card. We also were real careful while sitting by the pool ordering daiquiris...that is where they get you.

3. We found the best deals for food were at the following two restaurants: Murray's Deli (which also has the best potato salad I have ever had, bar none) and Carmine's (family style Italian restaurant. We ordered a salad and one entree and it was DEFINITELY enough food for two people...the portions are gigantic.)

4. The Atlantis meal plans seem to be a waste of money for two people. The meal plans only cover breakfast and dinner (and don't cover alcohol at all), and since we knew there was very little chance we'd ever be up in time for breakfast the whole week we were there, we skipped the meal plan and we were glad we did. We had coffee and Nutri-Grain bars in the room every morning, and just had lunch and dinner every day.

5. When going on the waterslides that require inner tubes, keep your butt up as much as possible. I got a gigantic bruise on one of the slides & couldn't sit for two days.

So all in all, get yourself down there if you can. It was one of the best vacations I've ever been on (and I'd been there before). Frigging awesome!

I Met Richard Belzer, And I Babbled Like Such An Idiot I Might As Well Have Been Speaking Klingon

2009-10-16T08:30:00.000-07:00

Long post. You have been warned.

My name is Grace. I am a Law and Order: SVU addict.

So when I read on the Interwebs that Richard Belzer was going to be doing an appearance at a Barnes & Noble in the city for his new book, I Am Not A Psychic!, I was like WORD. I need to go to this. All week I was hemming and hawing though, since I knew the weather would be crappy and I had a lot to do this week, but finally I decided yesterday (the day of the event mind you) that if I didn’t go I would majorly regret it and anyway I was planning on buying the book, so why not buy it there and get it signed by the man himself?

GOOD CALL, GRACE. I am telling you, it was the coolest thing I have done this week by far. $24 for the book and I got to sit 6 feet away from a comedy legend for an hour? Totally worth it. Now, I wasn’t familiar with Belzer back in the day when he was doing stand-up, so I really only know him from Law and Order, but let me tell you: THIS MAN. IS HILARIOUS. I skipped the gym yesterday but I got an ab workout all the same because I didn’t stop laughing the entire time. It is seriously amazing how this guy can play Detective Munch, an arguably serious character on a very serious show, and also be this hysterically funny comedian, so he’s the man. Here is the story of how I met my favorite actor on my favorite show and didn’t manage to pass out.

I left work yesterday and drove home (in the snow!) to get a different coat, a scarf, and some gloves, and feed the cat, and yet somehow I still made it to Katonah to catch a 5:00 train (when I manage to catch a train that I was planning on taking, it automatically starts things off on a positive note). I got into the city, scooted uptown to 66th and Broadway, and found where they were selling the book which was right next to the event room where we would be. I bought the book, got my bracelet, and went to hang out in the line until they opened the doors.

I don’t know if it was the weather or what, but once they let us in it became apparent that by no chance was the place going to be full, so that was cool. I got a seat right across from the podium in the third row and for once, Yao Ming or whatever didn’t sit in front of me so I would have a perfect view. While we were waiting, I pulled out Shawn’s camera which I had borrowed for the occasion to make sure it was set up for when Belzer got there, but to my EXTREME TERROR it gave me this message saying “No Memory Card”. GOD ALMIGHTY, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?! So I somehow struck up conversation with this girl sitting in the row in front of me and lo and behold she had a SPARE MEMORY CARD and she GAVE it to me. Whoever this girl is, I love her to the high heavens. A thousand blessings upon her home! I would have been so screwed without that memory card!

Belzer comes in, holding his cute doggie Bebe (I think he is a poodle fox terrier or something like that). He is dressed all in black and yes, he has the sunglasses on. He says “Hi kids! I’ll be back” and goes into the side room. While we’re waiting the Barnes & Noble dude who was running things walked around with some yellow Post-Its saying that Mr. Belzer would be personalizing his books at the signing and asked us what we wanted written and wrote it on the yellow Post-Its so we could stick them in our books.

Once Belzer got started, it was complete and nonstop laughter for the entire time. He read a bit from the book, took questions from the audience, and pretty much just made us laugh constantly. He does the whole “interact/make fun of the audience” thing which I always love when comedians do that. He does a KILLER Jackie Mason impersonation. There was a man in the audience who was clearly from another country, and at one point he raised his hand and asked Belzer “I see this word ‘f---‘ a lot in your books, what does it mean?” and Belzer had a field day with that one (although I’m not entirely convinced that he didn’t know the guy and they had set it up beforehand). He talked a bit about the show which is always fun to hear and it was also interesting to hear about his writing process (for those of you who don’t know, this book and the previous one, I Am Not A Cop!, are fictional mysteries but use him with his real name as the main character). Then it was time for the signing.

At this point I was about ready to have a panic attack. I am not good at meeting famous people and I have never met one that I heart as much as Richard Belzer, so I’m standing there thinking OMG, what in the holy hell do I say to him when I get up there? Since there were so few people he actually was kind of talking to everyone for a bit when they got up to have their books signed, so now I am facing the prospect of having a brief conversation with him. I move up in the line and start talking to the two ladies in front of me. I watch as this one girl a couple people ahead of us has her picture taken with him, so now I know he will maybe take a picture with me if I ask, and I ask the lady in front of me to take a picture for me when I get there. I get up to the table and I’m petting Bebe the doggie (he’s super cute!) and then it is my turn.

The first thing I do is I tell Belzer that it’s the 5-year anniversary of my first date with my husband and I’m there instead of at home. He goes, “Well, where the hell is your husband?” and I told him he had to work late and I wanted to get into the city early. That was ok. But then I proceed to F it all up by telling Belzer about how it is snowing in his home state (yes, he is from Connecticut originally). YES, I AM STANDING IN FRONT OF RICHARD BELZER, TALKING ABOUT THE WEATHER. How about, “Mr. Belzer, this was so cool, I love your work” or “You’re the main reason I watch Law and Order” or something to that effect? NOPE. THE MOTHERF---ING WEATHER. I suck at life. So, just in case Richard Belzer ever reads my blog, and actually makes it through this long-ass post, here is what I SHOULD HAVE SAID:

Hi Mr. Belzer! My name is Grace. I love your show, and I think you are awesome on it. You’re the main reason I watch it and I think it’s so cool that you currently hold the record for playing the same character on the most different TV shows. Sorry I was blubbering like a goddamn monkey when I met you. I really can be quite eloquent when I want to. I love your dog! My friend lives near you and brings her dog to the same park where you go. I admire your work with the North Shore Animal League. I really enjoyed this evening and haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. I am looking forward to reading your book.

So I managed to recover just enough to ask politely for a photo (I wonder if it weirds him out when people call him “Mr. Belzer” as I’m sure most people don’t, but I’m a paeon and I’m sure as hell not going to assume familiarity with this legend of the comedy world by calling him “Richard” or “Belz” or something). He told me to lean in, which I did, and I got the following:

Apparently it is too much to ask that I look good in a photo with my favorite actor, but I think it is a great picture of him. But then again, I doubt if he ever takes a bad photo. Also, Bebe is cute. It was cool to have him in the picture too. I want a dog.

I was grinning like an idiot and he thanked me for coming out and smiled, and I went on my merry way with my book and my photo. It was a great night and a great end to the week! I would have regretted it so much if I hadn’t gone. If I have the chance to meet him again, hopefully I won’t sound like such a moron and could actually have a real conversation with him. But until then, I can at least say I met Richard Belzer!!!

Things That Grind My Gears!

2009-10-05T09:46:00.000-07:00

As a disclaimer for this Monday’s edition of Things That Grind My Gears, stop reading now if you are into Jon & Kate Plus 8 (or, Kate Plus 8 as it apparently will now be called).

1. Dude. I don’t know about anyone else, but I am SO SICK of hearing about Jon & Kate! I hate these people, and I don’t even know them. Every freaking media outlet in this country is completely mired in their drama at the moment, and I am sick as all holy hell of it. I turn on the radio? Jon & Kate. I turn on the news? Jon & Kate. I half expect to start seeing mosaics of them and collages of their life in museums. Seriously, media. Stop giving these people attention – that is all they want. He is a douche, she is a shrew. And unfortunately, neither of them, despite their many affirmations to the contrary, gives a rat’s ass about any of their kids, or else they wouldn’t be using them as leverage in their obnoxious he-said-she-said game. I don’t care who was at fault, and neither does anyone else. As far as I’m concerned, you’re both at fault. Watching that show was like watching a real-life Everybody Loves Raymond…husband is a lazy obnoxious pig, wife considered nagging her husband to be as necessary to her daily routine as breathing. I’m serious, if I EVER treat my husband like that, I want someone to shoot me. But I never WILL, because he would never act like Jon Gosselin to begin with, so it’s a moot point. Anyhoo, the people who are really suffering here are the innocent children…and the rest of America, who, like me, just want to stop hearing about this shit 28475682101 times a day.

2. I really like the fall, but the constant fluctuation in the temperature is seriously messing with me. Last week it was nice and cool and breezy, like fall weather should be, and yet this weekend, it was back to being 14 trillion degrees with 90% humidity. I am DONE with summer, I am over it (of course I was over it in June…I really don’t like summer to begin with, but that’s beside the point). PLEASE bring back the fall weather! And please do it soon! HOWEVER, if the gods of Fall Weather could bring it back WITHOUT the accompanying invasion of f-ing spiders into my house because the weather’s getting colder, that would be STELLAR. I swear, everywhere I looked this weekend in my house, I saw a spider. And Husband was not home to go all vigilante on them, so I cowered in fear in my car for most of the weekend hoping that they would all disappear. They did not. I loathe spiders, in case you people were wondering (except for Josephine, referred to in an earlier post…RIP Josephine!)

3. Anyone who knows me (or reads my Facebook page, at least) knows about my deep and abiding love for “Law and Order: SVU”. However, I am pissed at the show right now…so much so that I am ready to break up with it if some changes don’t start happening. We are now 2 episodes into the new season, and like HALF THE CAST IS MISSING. No Munch, no Huang, no Cabot, no Warner; also, little to no Captain Cragen…like HELLO?!?! Bring back my Munchkins please, before I go out of my mind! Richard Belzer is more than half of the reason I watch the show. I am serious, SVU, if you replace him I will be enraged. Also, maybe give Munch more than like 6 lines per episode…refer to the episode “Painless” with Marlee Matlin where he is a huge part of the plot. Richard Belzer is a good actor. He can deliver serious lines as well as funny ones. Why am I the only person who is aware of this?

Look, I am into guest stars and all that, but if you are adding them to the show at the expense of the regular cast, that is stupid. People watch the show for Hargitay, Meloni, Belzer, and Ice-T, not for the guest stars. They are the reason the show has been on for 11 seasons now. Wentworth Miller = not a good actor and a REALLY obnoxious character on the first episode. Christine Baranski (aka Bitchy ADA) = also not a good character, and if she persists for more than like one or two more episodes heads will roll. Dude. Let us hearken back to the purer times of ADAs Cabot and Novak, where the ADA was fair, ethical, and was concerned more about doing her job than putting the detectives on the chopping block for doing theirs. Furthermore, bitchy for the sake of bitchy does not make an entertaining character, in my opinion (hence why I hated “Will & Grace”…I could not STAND Megan Mullaly as Karen on that show). So in conclusion, Show: I need more Munch and less stupid, gratuitous use of guest stars overshadowing the regular cast. Thanks.

Things That Grind My Gears

2009-09-28T11:12:00.000-07:00

Since I’m a lazy blogger, I decided to institute a weekly, themed blog post that will keep me writing at least one entry a week. In honor of the fact that Mondays, essentially, just plain suck, I am going to call it “Things That Grind My Gears” (a la Peter Griffin from “Family Guy”). I will use these weekly posts to whine, rant, and otherwise complain about a couple of things that have bothered me in the past week, thereby getting them off my chest and hopefully delaying the eventual shooting spree (THAT WAS A JOKE, FOR THE GOVERNMENT INTERNET MONITORS THAT MAY BE READING, BECAUSE I KNOW YOU ARE OUT THERE, AND NOT JUST BECAUSE RICHARD BELZER PROBABLY THINKS SO. SHOUT OUT TO RICHARD BELZER!!!)

So, without further ado, I present to you this week’s Things That Grind My Gears.

1. When Husband and I moved to Danbury right over the Bethel line, I was ecstatic because this meant I could start taking back roads to my office in Ridgefield instead of plodding along on Route 7 – abyss of the ass-clown, passageway of the puerile, bane of Southwestern Connecticut – every morning, my blood pressure skyrocketing and streams of expletives flowing from my mouth as I struggled to get to work on time amid the thousands of damn idiots in this state who do not know how to merge from two lanes down to one. However, I did not factor in one thing to my glee over being able to take back roads, and that is school buses. I’m not ranting against buses in general – I know the kiddoes have to get to school, and I am all for that. Education = good. But what I AM ranting against are the parents, in Redding and West Redding, mostly, who insist upon talking to their kid’s bus driver for 47252874 minutes while the bus is stopped to pick them up. Dude. There are PEOPLE BEHIND THE BUS. WHO HAVE TO GET TO WORK. In the grand scheme of things, the bus driver doesn’t care about what you had for breakfast or what the score of last night’s game was or whatever the hell it is you are jabbering on about while the rest of us wait for 5 minutes until you’re done with your conversation, and neither do I. I would like to get to my office sometime before the apocalypse, thank you.

2. Anyone who knows me well knows my deep-seated hatred for commercials. I despise them with a burning, white-hot passion that rocks the heavens. I am convinced that DVR was invented for people like me, for whom watching commercials is akin to water-boarding. But the commercials I hate most these days, beyond the shadow of a doubt, are the Geico caveman commercials. Boy howdy, do they make me want to put my foot through the television. The gecko is annoying, the stack-of-money-with-googly-eyes singing “Somebody’s Watching Me” has all but ruined my love for that excellent song, but the more TV I watch, the more I realize that the cavemen are probably what will eventually send me to the padded room. I hereby IMPLORE everyone reading this blog to appeal to my husband and/or family to please sign me up for DVR for Christmas. It will prevent bloodshed.

3. My internet connection at home is very spotty and inconsistent, especially on the desktop in the guest room which is where I do any and all non-office work. It kept prompting me to install my Windows updates, so I finally went to the Microsoft Update page recently to attempt to install XP Service Pack 3. The install begins, and I leave the room to do something else (which was my first mistake), and when I return later, my internet has disconnected, meaning that the install was interrupted halfway through. Given that it takes like 14 millenia to install Service Pack 3, I was pissed. And then, since the computer is smart enough to know that it didn’t install all the way (but not, apparently, smart enough to know that it should remain connected to the internet long enough for the install to complete), it goes and uninstalls the SP3 components that actually made it. And that takes another 6 decades. I have now tried this install 3 FRICKING TIMES, and every time the same thing happens. I should have bought a Mac!

And that wraps up this week’s Things That Grind My Gears. Feel free to comment with any of your own!

99 Days Until Christmas!!!

2009-09-16T12:25:00.000-07:00

...Well, actually, technically it's 100, but when I do my Christmas countdown I count down to Christmas Eve, so it's 99 days for me. I know it is probably terrifying to some people that I listen to Christmas music year-round, start shopping in September, and that my favorite movie of all time is Home Alone (which I consider to be a quintessential holiday film), but hey, that is me. There are worse things to have an addiction to than Christmas.

Another thing that is "me" is being obsessively organized to the point of absurdity. In this vein, for the last few years I've been taking part in OrganizedChristmas.com's holiday countdown plan. Starting in October, it is a six-week plan to get you ready for Christmas and keep you sane as the holidays approach. The key to this plan is budgeting and doing things a little bit at a time (like for instance, for each week of the plan you are supposed to buy gifts for a certain percent of your gift-giving list and write out a certain number of cards). I swear by this plan. I am telling you that it is the sole reason I can afford to spend so much time in December off the roads where snow + idiots driving = insanity, and instead be inside by the tree with some tea, the husband, the cat, and a Christmas movie. Without it, I would be lost.

In keeping with their plan, for the last couple of years I've been using a Christmas planning notebook to keep track of all the stuff I need to get done before the holidays, people I need to send cards to, etc. It's basically a red three-ring binder with sections inside it for all the categories I need to store info in (recipes, gifts, cards, etc). But recently, I went on Organized Christmas and saw that they had built a new sister site called ChristmasPlanner.com, so I went over there and basically reached nirvana. Christmas + organization + paper-craft project = happy Grace! Christmas Planner collects some really neat ideas from craft bloggers all over the web who have made nifty customized Christmas planners out of plain manila file folders, composition books, spiral-bound notebooks, and other things. These things are so cool. So, since I have infinite time to add another paper-crafting project to my life (can you detect the sarcasm up in here), I've decided to make one. I don't know if I will get it done in time for this Christmas, but I definitely want to have it finished by next year. Because in looking at the Christmas planner I've been using, while it is functional, it's not really "me". Yes, it has the lists and spreadsheets and stuff, but where are the sparkly scrapbook embellishments, fun paper, Home Alone and Christmas Vacation quotes, and photos to remind me of just how exactly I decorated the house last year?

So I am going to get started on this nifty project soon, hoping that my as-yet-incomplete wedding scrapbook, which is a HUGE project that I seriously need to devote more time to so I'll actually have it done by our 25th anniversary, will not fall by the wayside in the process. I'll try to post some pics as I work on it. Any suggestions or comments from people who have done something similar would be greatly appreciated!

And the Award for Worst Customer Service Goes To…

2009-07-07T07:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I needed to go to the mall to find a dress for a friend’s wedding later this month. On my way, I realized that I had forgotten to buy a spool of thread at JoAnn Fabrics in Brookfield earlier this week for a sewing project I’m working on. So, I decided to stop at a fabric store near my house which is on the way to the mall, rather than driving all the way to Brookfield and back to buy one spool of thread.

Well, suffice it to say that I have now encountered the least pleasant store employees ever. I was appalled at the behavior of the sales clerk that waited on me, and being someone who has infinite patience for strangers, I was even more taken aback. Here is an account of what went down at this store (to which I will obviously never go again). We’ll call the clerk Mean Lady 1 (or ML1 for short), and there is also Mean Lady 2 (ML2, the other clerk working in the store). Here goes:

I am standing at the counter with my one spool of thread.
ML1: Is that all?
Me (making polite conversation): Yes…I didn’t want to drive all the way to JoAnn’s in Brookfield to buy one spool of thread!
ML1: That will be $2.50.
I take out my debit card and go to hand it to ML1.
ML1 (with an enormous sigh): Don’t you have any cash?
Me (looking through my wallet): No, I’m sorry, I don’t unfortunately.
ML1: You know the credit card companies charge us for these.
Me: I’m really sorry, I don’t have any cash.
ML1: Then I guess you should go to JoAnn’s.
Me: I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware you had a minimum purchase for cards.
ML1: I can hold this here while you go to an ATM. Or you can buy something else.
(Note the nearest ATM is IN THE MALL)
Me: Well, that’s really all I needed…
ML1: You know, I’m a mother…didn’t yours ever tell you not to travel without cash?
ML2 (helping another customer): What’s the problem? Does she only have a twenty?
ML1 (like this is the worst thing that has ever happened to her): No, she’s got a card.
ML2: Well, just let her use it so we can get out of here.
(ML1 grumbles while she rings me up and hands me the receipt)
Me: I’m really sorry about this, I feel really bad.
ML1: Well, just don’t let it happen again.

“Don’t let it happen again”?!?!?! WTF? Who the hell says that to a paying customer? I left the store with my spool of thread (which, I might add, is crappy quality – I SHOULD have just gone to JoAnn’s, I was trying to sew last night and it’s the kind of thread that doesn’t unravel easily so it puts undue tension on the needle on my machine while I’m sewing, which I hate, my sewing machine was expensive & I don’t want it to break!)

Once I’m in the car, I call Shawn at the store. Being the wife of someone who owns a retail establishment, and whose family has been part of the retail world for 4 generations, I wanted to ask him if he thought I was off base being pissed off at the way this lady treated me. Maybe I was the one in the wrong, for not having some cash on me? Shawn proceeds to tell me that the whole “minimum purchase” thing is bullshit, because while it’s not illegal for a store to say they have a minimum purchase for a customer to use a credit or debit card, it is usually against the credit card company’s contract with the merchant to do that. Furthermore:

1. There are like 6 fabric and sewing stores in Danbury. This one is the closest one to me. I specifically TOLD the woman, hey, I was going to go to one of the “craft big-box stores” (aka JoAnn’s) to buy my one spool of thread, but I CHOSE to come to your small mom-and-pop store instead. And you are rewarding me by lecturing me and treating me like an idiot. Wouldn’t you rather suck it up, deal with the small charge by the credit card company, and possibly gain yourself another loyal customer?

2. I was beyond pissed that this woman suggested I buy something else, when I specifically said I didn’t need anything else, in order to justify using my debit card. If it were a deli and they had a minimum purchase, that’s one thing – I’ll get a cookie or a drink or something. But not in any other kind of store, and not when I specifically told them I didn’t want anything else.

3. ML2 was helping another customer when she chimed in about “letting her use her card so we can get out of here”. So not only did she embarrass me in front of someone else, but she pretty much said, “We don’t really care about our customers, or our business, we just want to get through the work day and get the hell out of here.” That’s a great image to project to clients.

4. NOWHERE on the front counter by the cash register or anywhere did I see a sign posted about “Minimum purchase for credit cards: Such-and-such amount”. If that had been there, I WOULD have bought something else. But how dare you bust out with that obnoxious lecture and make me feel guilty about using a debit card when you don’t even have a sign up?

5. I was nothing but pleasant to this woman…very apologetic, very calm, I never once raised my voice. Hey, I know retail is hard. But guess what? If you’re going to be that much of a douche to your customers…YOU MIGHT NEED A NEW JOB.

So after that, I barely even felt like going to the mall anymore, but when I went into Express I encountered a very nice young man (oh my God, I sound old saying that) working at the register who made me feel a whole lot better about the whole thing. He is NC1 (Nice Clerk 1) and the other cashier is NC2 (Nice Clerk 2):

There were a couple of people in front of me online that were having trouble with a credit card & their transaction was taking a long time as a result.
NC1 (once I’m at the counter & the other customers are gone): I’m really sorry about the wait.
Me: Not a problem.
NC1: I swear, some days the credit card machine just isn’t working well and I feel like I spend all day apologizing to the other people in the line!
Me: Well, it’s a nice change of pace for someone like me who just experienced the worst customer service ever.
NC1: Why, what happened?
There was no one else on line and they weren’t busy so I briefly told the story.
NC1: Oh my God, that’s ridiculous, I can’t believe someone would treat a customer that way.
NC2: Yeah, seriously, what was her problem…a debit card is legal tender, she had no business giving you such a hard time about that!

NC1 proceeded to use his employee discount to give me almost $30 off my purchases. I was astonished that he did that and told him I didn’t want him to because I didn’t want him to get into trouble, but he insisted & wouldn’t take no for an answer. It was above and beyond the call of duty. And I left the store feeling like by and large, most people in the retail industry DO know how to treat customers…it is just a select few who are complete assholes.

BTW, I purposely left out the name of the fabric store, just in case. However, if you want to know which one it was, in case you want to boycott it as well (HEHEHEHE), send me a message & I will tell you.

BLAST To Prevent Lyme Disease!

2009-07-01T07:03:00.000-07:00

I don’t usually do public service announcements on my blog, but this is an important one so here we go!

It’s summer (though you wouldn’t know it from the lame weather we’ve been having)…summer means swimming, fun outside, BBQs, hanging out in the sun…and tick season. If you live in the Northeast, you probably know at least one person who has been bitten by a tick or had Lyme disease. This is an extremely prevalent disease if you live in this area, and the only cure for it is prevention.

I was diagnosed with Lyme disease last year after having a test ordered by my chiropractor. I had been suffering with pain in my left leg (behind my knee mostly but also in my upper calf) that my GP told me was due to a running injury I had had. I bought that diagnosis for about two weeks until I started feeling the same thing in the other leg, along with headaches and vision changes. My chiropractor encouraged me to get the test and sure enough, it was positive. I was immediately put on a three-week course of doxycycline, a really fun antibacterial drug. My symptoms went away for awhile, but came back about a month later and I was put on the doxy for another two weeks.

I never saw the tick, I never saw the rash. My doctor told me most people don’t.

So, I encourage everyone to BLAST!

B – Bathe as soon as possible after coming inside. Statistics show that people who shower soon after possible exposure to ticks have less likelihood of becoming infected with Lyme.

L – Look for ticks, and rashes possibly caused by a tick bite, on your body. If you find a tick, remove it properly by the mouth parts with special tick-removal tweezers and save it for identification by a professional. Blacklegged ticks (commonly called deer ticks) are the ones that spread Lyme. You can order a tick removal kit that comes with tweezers, antiseptic wipes, a mini-baggie to save the tick in, magnifying glass, and a tick identification card here.

A – Apply repellants, to skin and clothing. Obviously some people are not fans of chemical repellants, and that is a personal decision, but they have been proven effective. You can check out the National Pesticide Information Center’s website to read more about tick repellants.

S – Spray your yard. Studies have shown that applying pesticide to your lawn during the time of year when ticks are most abundant (aka NOW) can seriously reduce deer tick populations.

T – Treat your pets. My family’s beloved cat Bianca was an outdoor cat and we spent a lot of time pulling ticks off her as a result, which also meant that she was bringing them into the house. We started using the Frontline Plus medication every month and that worked well. You simply apply the liquid between your pet’s shoulder blades (where they can’t reach to lick) and they are protected from ticks and fleas for a month. Use it on indoor pets too, just in case (we do with our kitty.) You may also want to be careful, especially during this time of year, about letting your pets sleep with you.

Prevention is the key to wiping out Lyme disease. I’m telling you from firsthand experience, having it sucks ass, and I didn’t even have a serious case. If Lyme disease is left untreated, it can cause permanent muscle, nerve, and brain damage, paralysis, urinary incontinence, has been linked to MS, and tons of other things, and since it prevents with all kinds of symptoms that show up with tons of other illnesses, it is often misdiagnosed (as in my case). I personally believe that anyone who spends a lot of time outside, and goes to the doctor with muscle pain, headaches, and fatigue, should be tested for it, but many doctors don’t even think to do the test which is a problem.

Anyway, remember to BLAST and you can read more about Lyme disease at the links below:

Lyme Disease Foundation

Ridgefield, CT BLAST Home Page

Brookfield, CT Lyme Disease Task Force

Housatonic Valley Council of Elected Officials (HVCEO) Tick-borne Illness Resource Center

CDC Division of Vector-Borne Infectious Diseases Lyme Disease Page

Monday Rant

2009-06-29T09:54:00.000-07:00

I hate MS Office 2007. Like, really hate it. I bought my new desktop at home in January of 2007 and shortly thereafter, realized with much rage that MS Office 98 was no longer available to buy in stores. So I had to suck it up and install the new version, which fills me with such loathing every time I try to type a document at home that I want to go on a shooting spree.

In particular, I really can’t stand MS Word 2007. Normally I use Word a lot, both at the office and at home, and good God, it sucks in the new version. I hate the interface, I hate the dumb Calibri font that is the default (instead of Times New Roman like EVERY OTHER VERSION OF MS OFFICE IN HISTORY), I hate how the first time I used it it took me 20 minutes to figure out where the Print option was (because why would they keep the File menu around? It’s only the most standard dropdown menu in ALL THEIR OTHER PRODUCTS), and I hate how it takes you 612 clicks to do something that in an earlier version of Word took you 2 clicks. Have fun trying to insert a text box, WordArt, or a picture, folks!

However, for all my bitching about the rest of the product, at least I have not yet encountered Clippy the paper clip office assistant who tries to help you while you’re typing (for instance, you write “Goodbye cruel world” and he pops up and says “It looks like you’re writing a suicide note. Would you like help?”) Wikipedia tells me that Microsoft discontinued that feature for the new version of Office, and thank God, because man, do I hate that shit. I have NEVER found the office assistant to be useful, at all. Maybe he would have been helpful back in college if he had popped up to say, “It looks like your stupid drunk ass is writing a Spanish paper at 3 A.M. the night before it’s due, AGAIN. Would you like help finding meaning in yet another disturbing, pointless piece of Spanish literature that makes no sense? Or better yet, would you like me to take you back in time to the day you decided to minor in a language and remove the crack pipe from your hand?” Seriously, you type the word “Dear” anywhere in a document and the frigging thing pops up (taking up like a quarter of your usable screen space in Word, might I add) going “IT LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE TYPING A LETTER. PLEASE CAN I HELP PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE I PROMISE I WILL BE EVER SO HELPFUL AND I WON’T ANNOY YOU AND YOU WILL NEVER REGRET PURCHASING A MICROSOFT WORD PROCESSING PRODUCT AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Seriously every time I use Office 2007 I get more and more pissed off and by the time I’m done typing my document I can barely write a coherent sentence anymore. Does anyone know if I can buy a new copy (legally) of Office 98 anywhere so I can uninstall the monstrosity that is Office 2007 on my machine at home?

Rant over. Happy Monday everyone!

Ode to My Car

2009-06-17T09:55:00.001-07:00

Recently (over Memorial Day Weekend I think), my car hit 150,000 miles. It got me reflecting on what a milestone that was – I don’t think we think about the amount of life events our cars go through with us, if we keep them around for awhile, and it really made me appreciate my little car even more for all the places it’s taken me to since I bought it in May of 2001.

As a bit of background, my car is a 1999 Mitsubishi Galant ES sedan. I bought it the summer after my sophomore year of college, when I finally had saved up enough money to get a car loan, since my sister was still in high school and driving my dad’s old Audi around, and I needed my own car since I had a summer job. I remember thinking that shopping for cars was easily the most annoying experience EVER – car dealers really do only care about your money and it was a lot of work finding one that I trusted enough to decide they weren’t ripping me off too much. In the end I bought my car from County Line Mitsubishi in Watertown and I have never regretted it since. It only had about 37,000 miles on it when I bought it, and soon enough I started racking up the mileage with trips to and from Bucknell a couple times a year (exactly 258 miles one way). But besides the miles, the car has faithfully rewarded me with almost 10 years of safe and comfortable driving. The only major repair I’ve had to do on it since I bought it (knock on wood) was to replace the radiator this year. And even though I don’t take near as good care of it as I should, like letting a couple more thousand miles pass after I’m due for an oil change, it still serves me perfectly well. I’ve always looked at it as more than a car, because it’s more than a way of getting me from A to B – it’s been with me when I’ve needed to escape from things, when I just feel like getting out and going for a drive, and has lasted me through many, many life events:

--Two years of college, carting my stuff to and from school
--One college graduation
--September 11th, driving home the weekend after it happened for my mom’s birthday
--Seven boyfriends (one of whom, who ended up becoming my husband, asked me out on our first official date while I was out for one of those nice relaxing drives)
--One fiancé
--One engagement
--One wedding
--Five jobs
--Four places of residence, including my first home bought with my own money
--Nonstop trips to and from Daytona Beach for spring break 2003
--One surgery (wisdom teeth)

I’ve cried, sneezed, and coughed on the steering wheel (don’t worry, I clean it often), soaked the upholstery with pool and lake water after going swimming, eaten dinner in it on the way from one color guard practice to another, slept in the backseat, sung along with the stereo, changed my clothes in the passenger’s seat, and screamed out the windows. I’ve been pulled over three times, gotten into three accidents, driven through major thunderstorms and snowstorms, and done a lot of thinking and talking in my car. I’ve gotten lost in it in Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Maryland, Hartford, Virginia Beach, and the Bronx.

I’ve taken apart the dashboard to replace a lightbulb only to discover that I didn’t have the right one, and had to put it back together again. I dropped a CD into the engine and electrocuted myself sticking my finger into the cell phone charger jack while the car was running. I’ve put the mats through the washing machine to clean them, thereby unraveling part of one. I rarely check the oil or tire pressure (bad, I know) and drive the thing on fumes (I know exactly how far I can drive with the gas needle below “E” before I’m in trouble). I stopped filling it up with premium gas a long time ago. I have had the same box of crap in my trunk since my senior year of college, and should really find a better place to store my expensive Marmot sleeping bag. I once had a bottle of antibacterial gel melt in the cup holder. The driver’s side mirror snapped off when a 2x4 came flying out of the flatbed of an oncoming pick-up truck and hit it, and the amount of dead bugs and tree sap on the front bumper will probably never come off completely no matter how hard I try. But it keeps kicking and keeps running smoothly – when I turn on the AC or heat, the car takes about a minute to reach my desired temperature, and the stereo sounds great no matter how high I turn up the volume, and really that’s all I need.

So here’s to you, Car. Thank you for 150,000 awesome miles, and may we have another 150,000 together that are just as awesome.

I want a new...pet

2009-04-23T07:49:00.001-07:00

Anyone who has spoken to me in the last, um, YEAR knows I want a dog. Like, REALLY bad. But unfortunately, Husband says no, not until we have a house with a yard and I guess I’m inclined to think he’s right. Also, at this point I don’t think Psycho Cat would be able to handle it, and since I love Psycho Cat (despite the fact that she attacked my hand last night and wouldn’t let go and I had to slather on the Neosporin and spray her with water to get her to stop), I don’t want to do anything to make her more disturbed than she already is.

So, we have been discussing another pet we could get that we could keep out of Smokey’s reach but would still be really fun to have. I am not picky…I love any critter provided it’s not a spider. Husband loves birds, so that was the logical conclusion. He had pet crows growing up (their names were Randall and Flagg, after a Stephen King bad guy) and he loved them. Since I don’t think we’ll be able to get crows (since the Federal Migratory Bird Act of 1918 prevents you from taking them from the wild anyway), we thought about other types of birds we could get. Parrots are too big, too noisy, too mean, and live FOREVER. Cockatoos, same thing. We kind of felt “meh” about parakeets and budgies, so we started doing research on myna birds.

We want a bird that is intelligent, that we can train, and that is big enough that we can take it out of the cage and walk around with it. We also want a bird that is ok living by itself (i.e. not with a mate or other birds to keep it company). Turns out that myna birds fit pretty well with all these requirements. They are very smart and can mimic most human sounds and develop vocabularies of more than 100 words. If you hand-raise them from babies, they are affectionate and will be happy to be out of their cage and cuddle with you. They are not too big, not too small (about 10 – 12 inches) and are very pretty as well. I did a substantial amount of research on the web and found that there is a breeder in Connecticut, and his contact info lists an (860) area code so he might be close by.

Last night we walked around the house for about a half hour trying to decide where we’d put a cage, and discussing how fun it would be to teach a bird phrases like “HA-ha” ala Nelson in The Simpsons, the Futurama – Dr. Zoidberg escape sound, and assorted other things we quote/say a lot. And if we kept our bird in the guest room, where my home office is located, it would be hilarious for me to be on a conference call or something and hear the bird bust out with the name of a drug class like “HIV-1 nucleoside and nonnucleoside reverse transcriptase inhibitors” or something! LOL.

So what do people think? Does anyone own a myna bird, or know someone who owns one?

Crazy Tsunami Dream

2009-02-26T08:13:00.000-08:00

So, I gotta blog about this crazy dream I had last night before I get too wrapped up in stuff and forget to do it. To preface this, I don’t know what the story is with me, but for the last couple of months I’ve dreamed almost every night, and add that to the fact that I’ve always had very vivid dreams that I almost always remember in near-perfect detail. This was one of the more wacked-out ones. I don’t know if it’s the medicine I’m on or what, but like I said, recently I’ve been dreaming way more than usual. This one was a doozy.

The dream started out with me watching TV. The president comes on and starts telling the nation about how the Cumbre Vieja volcano on La Palma in the Canary Islands erupted, and as a result the side of the volcano collapsed and slid into the Atlantic Ocean, which caused a huge tsunami that will travel across the Atlantic and hit the Eastern Seaboard (Aside: normal people dream about tsunamis. Only geologists dream about tsunamis AND the geological reasons why they happen) (Another aside: if you ever hear about Cumbre Vieja erupting, and you live on the Eastern Seaboard, turn off the TV, pack your shit, get the family, get in the car, and drive inland. There is a lot of debate among geologists about the likelihood of this event happening, about projected wave sizes, etc., but better to be safe than sorry, I say. You don’t want to F with a tsunami.)

So anyway, back to my dream. After I hear the president talking, I freak out and start to cry. Then I call my parents and tell them what’s going on, and they tell me to get Shawn, pack some stuff up, and come over and we’ll all drive to our vaca house in upstate NY together. But, we’re only allowed to bring one suitcase. So, Shawn and I start packing up, and strangely we’re in our house, but it looks like my parents’ house, which is where we’re going when we’re done packing, but whatevs.

I grab my suitcase and start throwing stuff into it. I put my unfinished wedding scrapbook and all my scrapbooking supplies in there, and somehow they fit. (The only reason I can think of for these random items going into the suitcase in my dream is that I generally fall asleep thinking about craft projects, e.g. scrapbooking, so I probably had it on my mind when the dream started.) Then I throw in a couple of my favorite outfits, some jewelry, one or two bags, my hairdryer (I don’t know why, but I guess if you live through a tsunami you’ll prob. need a hairdryer at some point), the firesafe from under our bed where we keep all our important documents, and last but not least, my two favorite stuffed animals, Slean the reindeer and Mr. Seal.

Next thing that comes up is that I start freaking out about the cat, crying to Shawn that we can’t leave her behind. Shawn goes downstairs to get the cat carrier and we get Smokey in there, and we throw all our stuff in the car and next thing we know we’re in my room at my parents’ house. My parents and my sister are running around like crazy trying to pack up their stuff, and also there is this random Chinese lady at their house who just showed up there and my parents, being hospitable in times of national crises, offer to bring her upstate with us. And of course my parents have two cats, so we’re trying to get the two of them into their carriers. Shawn and I have left Smokey and all our crap in the car, which is parked outside. Everyone’s scared out of their minds and so am I, but I’m trying to tell them at the same time that it’s very unlikely that the tsunami will wash that far inland, and if it does, it will be a pretty small wave.

Well, I’m wrong. We’re all packed up and ready to go and standing in the garage, just about to get into our cars, when we notice drops of water falling from the sky. At first we think it’s rain but we realize it’s sunny out, and then we get a glimpse of this huge gray wave coming over the horizon and we barely have time to close the garage door (like that would help) when the tsunami hits.

This is where the dream got really freaky. At this point it was so vivid, that I actually felt like I was surrounded by rushing water and was being jostled around and holding my breath and praying that I wouldn’t drown and that my family would be safe. The side wall of the garage is blown out and we’re all pushed outside by the water. My brain conveniently chose this time to wake up, thankfully, and I missed the rest of the tsunami actually hitting while I tried to remember where the hell I was, and I think I either poked Shawn in the back or smacked him in my half-asleep state to make sure he was real and not soaking wet with tsunami-water. Sorry, Husband!

A few minutes later I fell back to sleep. The dream picked up right where it left off, which I hate when that happens, especially when said dream is actually a nightmare like this one. Now it’s the aftermath of the tsunami. We can see the damage the tsunami has caused to the neighborhood. Cars smashed into each other on the street, trees and houses washed away, except for ours which is miraculously still standing (but doesn’t look like my parents’ house at all…more like the mansion from Psycho). At this point we start cheering and yelling, “Yay house! You rock!” before Shawn and I realize that OMG, we left poor Smokey in the car! We see Shawn’s Monte Carlo facing the wrong way across the street (although it looks like it’s in pretty good shape for having just been hit by a tsunami). We run over and look through one of the side windows and there’s Smokey in her carrier, alive but soaking wet and looking totally terrified. We pick her up in a towel and cuddle her and calm her down, and then I woke up again.

When I finally fell back to sleep, the dream AGAIN picked up where it left off, although it made a little less sense. I’m fighting with my dad because I want him to get my suitcase so I can make sure all my stuff is ok, and finally he does and by some miracle everything is dry and undamaged. Then I’m talking to Shawn saying, gee, I wish we had soaped up the car before the tsunami hit, it would have gotten nice and clean (like that makes any sense). Then, all of a sudden, we’re all looking at this book that is covered in jewels and is talking about how the whole world has changed because of the tsunami and we need to go to this random office for some reason. So we all head to the office and we’re wondering where Smokey went, until we get to the receptionist’s desk and there is a rhino behind it and we realize that Smokey has become a rhino (which, if you’ve ever met my cat, is not too much of a stretch – she is large, gray, and ill-tempered.) And that was the end of the dream. Craziness, no????

Holiday Update!

2009-01-05T09:26:00.000-08:00

First off, happy belated holidays & happy 2009 to everyone!

It's been a super long time since my last post, so my bad, but things have been crazy with work and Christmas and everything so eeek! I figure I'll just post a bit about what I've been up to over the holidays and hope that covers things pretty well up till now!

Anyone who knows me knows that I. LOVE. CHRISTMASTIME. I love the way it makes people just a little more generous, just a little happier, just a little nicer (albeit having a detrimental effect on their driving abilities). I love being with my family and friends and celebrating all the blessings we've been given in our lives and in each other. I love the decorations, the movies, the food, the music, the festivities. This year's season was a little short because Thanksgiving was so late, but I still dressed up the house, dug out all my Christmas socks and red bags that I only use this time of year, and partied down. Last year Christmastime was insane because it was two months before our wedding, so I really tried to go all out this year.

I kicked off the season with a super fun trip out to Chicagoland to visit a good friend from college. I don't see my friends from school nearly often enough which sucks bigtime, so to the extent that I make New Years' Resolutions, I'm considering that one of mine for 2009. Anyhoo, she had told me about this crazy Christmas festival out there the first weekend of December, so I cashed in all my American Express Rewards Points to get a cheapo flight out there and headed out for the weekend.

A little background on this trip: last year sometime (I think in the summer), I had this dream that I was with my buddy out in Chi-town and we were taking this Christmas house tour, around all these beautifully-decorated Victorian houses, and then we walked through huge, cute shop that sold all these gorgeous gifts and fun toys. I told her about this dream and that's when I heard about the Geneva, IL Christmas festival. I am telling you, this festival was almost exactly like my dream, which is beyond bizarre, since I very rarely have prophetic dreams. But if you ever get the chance, you should go. Geneva has all these cute stores and restaurants and the Christmas Festival is seriously like heaven for someone who loves Christmas. You can go on a house tour, all the shops have sales and specials, everyone serves free cookies, hot chocolate, and hot cider (useful b/c it was FREEZING), then at night there's a tree lighting, and you can go to the candy store and watch them make candy canes (which is really cool), and then we finished the night off by singing Christmas carols by candlelight in this cute little church downtown. I'm not even kidding, I'm pretty sure Geneva is the North Pole in disguise!

Besides the festival, we had a blast catching up, watching Christmas movies, playing Rock Band on the Wii (which I heartily suck at), and to top it all off, there was actually snow out there (we didn't have any back home yet). Awesome.

Once I was back home, it was back to the grind, but that's ok...Christmastime in the office is a pretty good time. The actual workload gets a little heavy, but I'd rather be busy than not (it helps me keep my mind off all the Christmas shopping I have to do!) And, of course, December means it's time for our office holiday party. Every year we get the choice to either go out for lunch and then take the rest of the day off, or go out for dinner (significant others invited), and people pretty much unanimously choose the latter. I think it is a mark of how awesome my coworkers are that everyone brings their S.O., and everyone talks all night and laughs and gets along great. Shawn loves my colleagues and they like him, and we always have a blast whenever we all hang out outside of the office (we have a blast in the office too, but that's different.) Sitting at dinner at Bailey's Backyard in Ridgefield, next to Shawn, and across from our President/CEO and my boss, it really reminded me just how lucky I am in my job. I came into the whole thing with no idea what medical terminology even WAS, and now I'm managing projects, actually editing terminologies, and learning databases, SQL, and even a smidge of pharmacology. I've always said that coworkers can either make or break a job, and I'm so fortunate to always have had it been the former, now at Apelon and before at Scholastic. I have mentors and people who work their butts off, teach me tons, are encouraging when I'm not feeling so great, who are patient with me when I'm stupid or screw up, and who generally make this dinky little drop in the wide sea of corporate America feel like she belongs. Especially in this day and age, when so many Americans are unemployed, I try to never take a day of it for granted.

One of my favorite newer Christmas traditions is making gingerbread houses with my mother-in-law and my sisters-in-law. It is a blast...my MIL buys these kits that come with all kinds of candy and stuff, and we spend a night making a mess and designing gingerbread houses. Mine usually have a theme: last year I made a blue and purple house (our wedding colors), the year before I made what we ended up calling the Gay Pride House (because I used all the rest of the colors that everyone else hadn't used and it ended up being a rainbow), and this year I did a Bucknell House:

Last year, as I mentioned, Shawn and I were completely cracked-out on wedding planning by December, so this year, since things were much calmer, we decided to have a Christmas party. We don't have the room to really have a big dinner party, so we thought we'd do an open house instead with drinks and hors d'oeuvres. We invited a bunch of people, including various friends from high school and college, our siblings and their fams, and our parents, and it was a blast. Shawn and I always have fun cooking for other people and I would have to say that one of my favorite things in the world is entertaining. The house looked really nice and Christmasy, we had a fire going and candles burning, Psycho Cat was locked up in the garage (she's kind of a liability when guests are around, especially when said guests include our nieces and nephew), and we got tons of people even though it had snowed all day and by 4:00 I was having a panic attack that no one would come!! Luckily I was wrong, and almost everybody showed up, stayed for the whole time, ate all the food (so we didn't have any leftovers, yay!) and we had a great time laughing and hanging out and catching up with everyone. I wish I had taken more pictures, but I was too busy trying to be the perfect hostess! Here is one of Shawn's bro's fam hanging by the tree:

I managed to use some vacation time and was able to take off almost two weeks for Christmas, partially because my company is awesome and decided to give us all the day after Christmas and the day after New Years Day off since they were both Fridays. So, I was off starting the 23rd and going until January 5. Christmas Eve Shawn had to work, so I mostly stayed in and wrapped and worked on the handmade presents I made this year (I quilted placemats for my sisters-in-law, made beaded Swarovski crystal snowflake ornaments, and also made wedding photo albums for our parents so I was a busy bee!) Then we went to Mass with my parents in Brookfield, headed back to their house for dessert, then went home to bed to rest up for our first Christmas as Mr. and Mrs. Clifford!

Christmas Day was super fun...in the morning we went to Shawn's parents' house for a BIG breakfast (seriously...it was a LOT of food) and presents with Shawn's family, then we headed to my parents' house where, bless their cute hearts, they hadn't opened a single present without us! We had dinner there, and of course watched Christmas Vacation with the whole family. Christmas is not complete at the Annis household without a viewing of that movie, since we're the real-life Griswolds! Here I am Christmas morning with Shawn's family (that is me and Heather on the bottom after probably a few too many mimosas):

Santa was very good to us this year...movies, board games, tickets to Celtic Woman at Radio City for the 3rd year in a row (yay!), cookies, jewelry, CDs, and lots more...our families really spoil us! Shawn got us tickets to see Cirque du Soleil's Wintuk show at Madison Square Garden the Monday after Christmas, and dinner at Rolf's which is this awesome German restaurant in Gramercy where every square inch of it is decorated for Christmas:

And of course we did our obligatory Christmas tourist walk around NYC. I swear the windows at Saks were some of the best ever this year! I am pretty sure designing those window displays has got to be the coolest job ever.

So, that's about it in a (very big) nutshell. It was a great holiday season for us, and I hope for you as well. God bless everyone for 2009 with health, happiness, and success, and thanks for reading! I promise I will be a more prolific blogger in the New Year!

RIP, Josephine the Spider

2008-11-24T09:34:00.000-08:00

It is with great sadness that I share with you all the news of the passing of Josephine, our "pet" spider, this weekend. Frankly, I'm amazed that she survived this long as it's been getting progressively colder and windier here lately, but she did. We found her on the deck yesterday morning and decided that instead of letting her succumb to the indignity of being eaten by the cat the next time she escapes out the back door onto the deck, we would bury her in one of the flowerpots, which we did, and then we said a few short words about her, and toasted her with our Sunday morning mimosas, and went back inside.

Rest in peace, arachnid friend. Thanks for eating tons of mosquitoes, and for gracing our back door with your beautifully-constructed web. In death you will be remembered as one of the coolest-looking spiders I've ever seen, and indeed the ONLY spider I've ever seen for which I have felt any measure of affection, as opposed to utter revulsion and abject terror. I hope that Spider Heaven has you surrounded by lots of juicy bugs, and is a place where you can build your web as big as you want without worrying about humans breaking it every time they go outside to the grill, or condo associations power-washing the building, or frigid Connecticut temperatures, rain, and wind.

Funniest (I think) Family Guy Clip Ever

2008-11-19T08:33:00.000-08:00

This is from the episode that was on this past Sunday (11/16). Shawn and I were absolutely dying when we watched it...the silently-laughing, tears-pouring-down-my-face, occasional-snorting kind of laughter.

Awesome. Just...awesome. Enjoy!

Veterans Day

2008-11-11T09:03:00.000-08:00

As I was driving into work this morning, I heard the Lee Greenwood song "God Bless the USA" on the radio. That song was the first song I heard when I got into my car to drive home for the weekend after September 11th, and it always gets me choked up. This morning, I actually cried in the car. I was somewhat pissed that I had to go into work today to begin with, because I believe EVERYONE should have Veterans Day off (like Memorial Day), but I thought, at least in this country, I can hold a job, if I want to. And as I looked in the rearview mirror to check how much mascara was running down my face, I thought, hey, at least I'm allowed to wear makeup. I'm a woman, and I'm allowed to wear makeup, and jeans, and jewelry. I was allowed to get an education, and even go to college. I can vote. I can drive. I have control over my finances, and I can own property. My father, husband, and male relatives don't control where I go, when I go there, and who I'm with. I can go to whatever church I want to, listen to whatever music I want to, watch whatever I want on TV or in the movie theater, read whatever I want to, and write whatever I want on this blog. And the reason I can do all these things is because of veterans. Thank God for the brave men and women who have fought for, and are still fighting for, our country and our freedom, because without them, we wouldn't have it.

We've got it pretty good here. Many people risk their lives to come to this country illegally in shipping crates, or hidden in tiny boats, or by swimming across the Gulf of Mexico, because they believe their lives will be better. And, without getting into the whole immigration issue here, you have to admit these people have a point. There are few places in the world where no matter what kind of background or situation you were born into, with hard work you can become whoever you want. In other countries, the rights that are GUARANTEED to our citizens are ones that their citizens can only dream of.

So, no matter who you voted for, no matter who was elected, no matter how you feel about the war in Iraq, and no matter which side of the political spectrum you're on, take a moment today to say a prayer for - or if you're not religious, to reflect on - the sacrifices of everyone who has ever given their service, or their life, for our country. Without them, things would be a lot different.

My Ideal Candidate

2008-11-05T05:18:00.000-08:00

Well, it's officially over. One way or the other, we've elected a candidate, and I pray he'll be a good leader. Hopefully, he won't let down the people who voted for him, and for the people who didn't, maybe he'll win them over.

One of the more interesting things I've personally experienced from this election has been the fact that I realized that most of the people I know, with the exception of a few, really don't know exactly what my political leanings are. I'm cool with this, actually. I have definite political opinions, but I generally don't make it a point to discuss politics in depth with people. I just have found over the years that unless you know for a fact that someone's political views are in line with your own, it's not the greatest idea to get into the discussion. Someone always ends up getting pissed off. Also, since my company is primarily a government contractor, it's good policy not to talk about this stuff at work, which is where I spend the majority of my time. But, I'm cool with blogging about it, and in case you're interested or were wondering, here's a sampling of where I stand on some things that have been and continue to be contentious issues in this country. I left off some other things that I care about like immigration because I know this post is going to be long enough without it, especially once I get talking about education, but c'est la vie.

1. While I'm a religious person, I am quite tired of the religious right attempting to permeate every facet of life in this country. I want them out of our doctors' offices, our pharmacies, our bedrooms, our labs, and our schools. I believe in a woman's right to choose abortion, though only in certain circumstances (rape and incest, and when her own life is in danger, or when it is known that the baby will not survive and the woman doesn't choose to bring the baby to term. I really think that's her right.) I believe what goes on behind closed doors in our homes is not the government's business. I believe anyone who wants to get married should be able to and should be afforded the same legal rights as everyone else...whatever happened to "all men are created equal"? I believe in stem cell research as long as it is done ethically. I believe we can keep "God" in the Pledge of Allegiance because there are bigger things we need to worry about at this point. I believe abstinence-only sex education is a waste of time, because, let's face it, kids, no matter how stupid and immature they might be, are going to have sex, and they need to be told how to protect themselves, and understand the consequences of what will happen if they don't. I believe evolution is a FACT, not a theory, and THAT'S what belongs in the science classrooms of our public schools. And most of all, I believe the founding fathers knew what they were doing when they mandated the separation of church and state IN THE CONSTITUTION.

2. I believe healthcare is a basic human right. I think children especially, no matter what age, and no matter what their background, should have guaranteed affordable healthcare, period. The institution in this country needs to be completely overhauled. While I'm not in favor of a single-payor system, I think the government needs to closely examine the relationship between medical care, insurance, and pharmaceuticals, and get involved when things are working too much in the favor of corporations and not enough in the favor of the people who are being served by them. From a practical standpoint, as the CEO of my company regularly reminds us (and he did it again this morning when he was in the office), healthcare is 17% of the GNP in the US, and if the healthcare system collapses, our economy is screwed. Medicare will be bankrupt within the next two decades as the Baby Boomer generation ages (more elderly people = higher healthcare costs). It's worthwhile to focus on attempting to fix the system now before it gets worse. It's in the government's best interest to invest in industries like healthcare IT, which will significantly reduce healthcare costs by reducing medical errors, providing clinical decision support and data mining/repository services, and eliminating the bureaucratic nonsense that providers have to deal with, allowing them to focus on patients and their care (also, that would keep my company in business, and therefore I would have a job, hehe).

3. I also believe education is a human right. Get rid of NCLB (No Child Left Behind), because it's not working. Fix the absurdly broken system. The solutions are obvious:

Provide MORE SUPPORT for teachers (which will not only attract talented people to the profession, but also help keep the ones we have), who I believe are the most woefully underpaid group of professionals in the country. In no other profession are you mandated to obtain an advanced degree, paying for it out of your own pocket, within a certain amount of time, in order to keep your job. Teachers are expected to also be babysitters, counselors, go-betweens, mentors, and a host of other things to their students, and the amount of red tape and administrative drivel that they have to deal with is staggering. They should be paid accordingly for their services and provided at least SOME financial support to obtain their Masters )because it's too much to hope that a school system would ever be able to do it for them).

Overhaul the standardized testing system. I do not believe that standardized testing is an accurate measure of students' abilities. Sure, it shows which kids have learned basic skills by a certain age and which haven't, but the amount of emphasis this country puts on the performance of a school at large on standardized tests, I think, is a little nutty. Some kids don't test well. Some kids cheat. Some kids will not be able to perform "up to standard" because of learning disabilities or other handicaps.

Freaking provide funding for struggling schools...and that means inner city AND rural. Many rural schools have the same amount, if not less, materials and funds than inner city schools, and I think people forget that.

Fund programs that get parents involved in education, without being a hindrance to teachers ("helicopter" parents need not apply).

Fund after-school programs for students of all ages whose parents work outside the home, to keep them safe, involved in school, and NOT involved in drugs, teen sex, or gang activities. Also, fund mentor programs to at-risk kids, and support early learning for pre-school age children (and younger).

Provide more government support for college education. Make it more affordable for everyone who wants it. That includes support for trade schools, vocational programs, ESL for adults, and continuing education programs as well.

I do not believe in mainstreaming kids with severe learning disabilities. Of course, never having been a teacher, I don't know what it's like, but I can't help but feel that kids with disabilities like this would benefit more from individual attention that's not necessarily in a classroom setting. I've heard too many stories about how teachers are penalized for their classes' performance, when many of the kids in their classes are special needs and require more specialized education. Give more support to professionals and aides who work in special education...their salaries should be commensurate with regular teachers', and I know they're not in many places.

4. I believe in a nationwide "three-strikes-you're-out" law for violent criminals. I also believe in mandatory life in prison without parole, at the very least, for people who abuse children under the age of 12. We do not need those people on our streets. The rate of recidivism for people like that is way too high for us to take the risk of putting them back out there. Incidentally, I also support capital punishment, though only when used in specific cases. For example, I don't believe someone who shot someone while robbing a store deserves the death penalty. Murdering anyone is horrible, but I believe there are certain circumstances which render the death penalty more necessary, such as when some sicko premeditatively kidnaps, molests, tortures, and murders a child. There is no place on this Earth for someone like that, and no place for them in our society. They may feel remorse for their crimes, but will never be rehabilitated. I really don't believe people like that deserve another chance...they don't even deserve life in prison. As awful as that sounds, that's how I feel.

5. Get us the hell out of the Middle East. Our soldiers are dying for people who would just as soon kill them as look at them, and the civilians who don't feel that way have been beaten down and oppressed for so long that no matter how long we stay there trying to prop up the "democracy" we've "established", once we leave, it won't hold up. There is just way too much volatility, hate, and religious fundamentalism in that part of the world for it to be worth it anymore, and I believe we could be spending our defense money more productively (like beefing up our border security, so we never have to deal with another 9/11). This kind of segues into the next thing, which is...

6. ...reduce our dependence on foreign oil, particularly from the Middle East, by investing in alternate energy solutions. Provide bigger tax incentives for people who make "green" lifestyle choices, from buying hybrid or electric cars, to using energy-saving appliances. I have always found it dumb that people who want to do those kind of things always end up paying more for them. It's stupid that purchasing an Energy Star washing machine is generally about $82347521983745 more expensive than purchasing a regular one. If you want us to conserve energy, make it affordable for EVERYONE, not just rich people. Invest in r&d for energy and alternate fuel initiatives, and for organizations, for- and not-for-profit, who work to protect our forests, our oceans, our wildlife, our national parks, and conserve our resources, and also help developing countries learn how to use, not squander, their own.

7. All this being said, I'd prefer if candidates would try and find some way to fund all these things I've mentioned without taxing the shit out of us. I don't like this whole, "higher taxes for people who make over a certain amount of money" thing, for one main reason, which is that anyone who makes said amount of money most likely worked their ass off to do it, and the idea of the government taking half their hard-earned money, essentially punishing them for building their wealth, makes me a bit squeamish (American Dream, much??). I have hopefulness that re-appropriating government funds, reducing the national debt, and working on long-term solutions for the things that are costing our government the most money would provide us with enough capital to fund these kinds of things, without redistributing the wealth of hard-working Americans.

Phew...I told you this post was going to be long. But hey, at least I got the stuff off my chest. In my lifetime there has never been a candidate I've voted for who has aligned closely with all my beliefs, and I don't think there ever will be. Until then, I'll have to keep doing what I've been doing, which has been voting for the lesser of two evils. I think a lot of Americans feel that way. But maybe someday, we won't have to do that. It sure would be nice.

There's this...thing...going on today...maybe you've heard of it...

2008-11-04T11:52:00.000-08:00

...it's called an election, I believe. Perhaps you've heard it referred to once or twice, on the news, as I have. Therefore, if you have not already done so, you should vote. : )

In other news, without going into who I'm voting for (my mom always told us that that's nobody else's business but our own, and she said if anyone asked we should respond like my grandpa used to and say "Santa Claus"), I can definitively say I will be MEGA-HAPPY when this election is over. For better or worse, no matter who gets elected, it will be nice when the country can move on from the lies (from BOTH sides), the smear campaigns, and the bulls*&@. It's an extremely historically significant election, to be sure, but I've also found it to be an annoying one. I can't say I'll be sorry not to receive the annoying pre-recorded phone calls & ABSURD amount of mail from the local candidates either.

I just hope the line isn't too long when I go to vote for the first time as a Danbury resident this evening! I don't want to miss the Election Day $20 BBQ buffet tonight at La Zingara in Bethel!

Follow-up to the angry jeans posting!

2008-10-29T07:36:00.000-07:00

Lest everyone think I am an angry, bitter hag who holds clothing designers responsible for my genetics, I just want people to know that I am nothing if not resourceful. Unwilling to shop ANYWHERE for my jeans besides Abercrombie, because my loyalty to their Madison Flare style borders upon obsession, I went ahead and bought a pair in their "Regular" length. I got them home and after whining on the phone to my mother-in-law about them while calling her for sewing advice (about another project), I invented a crazy, and stupid, but nonetheless effective, method of hemming said pants.

Normally I don't recommend hemming jeans yourself, especially if you're a semi-novice seamstress like me. And indeed, even when I've had jeans professionally hemmed in the past, they've always ended up looking absolutely retarded afterwards. Hemming a pair of flare jeans is even harder because if you cut the bottoms off, you inevitably lose some of the flare, which makes them look disproportionate, and then when you hem them, the stitching never looks right (or even close to what the bottoms looked like before).

So, here's the story of my adventure with my newfangled method of hemming jeans.

First, I accordion-folded the bottom of the jeans, maybe taking up about 3/4 of an inch, and lining up the bottom of the folded piece with the bottom of the inside lining. Then I pinned it and pressed the hell out of it with the iron. Then I tried them on, with every pair of shoes I own, to make sure they didn't drag on the ground even with my lowest heels.

While doing this for the new pair of black suede pumps I bought from Macy's, I accidentally stepped on one of the pins, which then went ALL THE WAY INTO MY FOOT, and while I screamed and yelled and swore thereby making my neighbors think someone was being murdered in my house, I tried to weigh my options: Do I pull it out, risking the bottom of the pin breaking off and remaining lodged in my foot, which will force me to go to the hospital to get it removed? Do I leave the pin where it is, go to the hospital, and let them take it out? Or do I slowly yank it out and hope for the best? Do I then sue Abercrombie, because it's their fault I have to hem my pants in the first place (I quickly discarded this option - I've watched enough Law and Order to know that no judge on earth would even ALLOW that case to be argued in their courtroom. Although, this is the country of the idiot who sued McDonald's for not warning them about hot coffee, so I guess it's a possibility and maybe I had a shot, but still.) I went with the third option. The pin came out relatively easily, and with very little blood, and although the bottom of the pin DID break off, it didn't break off under my skin, thankfully. I sat down on the floor and cried, more out of shock than pain, before limping into the bathroom, slathering my foot with Neosporin, and applying 295729 Band-Aids (if you ever come visit, you will be amused to note that we have a stock of Band-Aids and a tube of Neosporin in almost every room of the house, because of Psycho Cat. She'll maul you in any room, if you piss her off - she doesn't discriminate).

Once that fiasco was over, I returned to my guest room/"art studio" to continue my annoying sewing project for the afternoon. I sewed all around the bottom of the accordion-folded hem of my jeans, then I folded the top under and sewed that (I can't really explain this properly, I'd have to show you in person). It actually looked pretty decent, the flare stayed in because I didn't actually cut off any of the fabric, and they fit ok with my shoes. I pinned up the other leg last night while watching a comparatively boring new episode of SVU, and I'll probably try to sew it tomorrow. So, basically, the score now stands at Grace: 1, Abercrombie: 0. While I do feel a certain regret that I had to pin and sew $70 jeans, I feel like it's a small price to pay for still being able to wear my favorite style. Now, if I could only remove the smell of Abercrombie cologne which permeates every fiber of denim...they really need to stop spraying that shit all over the store!

BTW, for anyone who is wondering, Josephine the spider is still alive and well, despite the increasingly cold temperatures (and the snow!) She has been hanging out in her upstairs room more often lately, but she came down two nights ago to fix her web and have some dinner. Only time will tell how she weathers the rest of the fall, but for now she's doing ok.

Memo

2008-10-09T09:16:00.000-07:00

Dear Clothing Designers,

I am pissed off. Listen, not all of us are 7 feet tall. Therefore, can you please create jeans in lengths that someone like me, at 5'3" with an inseam roughly the length of a paper clip, can wear? I'm tired of being forced, having no other options, to buy jeans in what you call "regular" length which in fact extend almost 6 INCHES BELOW MY FOOT, and which bunch up unattractively even if I'm wearing heels. I'm tired of asking my mom to hem my pants. I'm...well, I'm just tired.

I'm specifically talking to you, Abercrombie. Although it annoys me that I have succumbed to your brand-name-mongering, I have consistently bought no other jeans than yours for the last three years. Now, although you still make the style I like, YOU APPARENTLY DON'T MAKE THEM IN A SHORT LENGTH ANYMORE. I went into your store the other day in the Danbury Mall and was enraged to note that you stocked NO JEANS IN THE AFOREMENTIONED SHORT LENGTH, unless they were size 0. At first I thought my brain had perhaps been addled by the clouds of cologne permeating the air within your store. I said, they can't POSSIBLY not make jeans in "Short" anymore, right? There are other Abercrombie customers out there like me, who are under 6' and, indeed, under 5'5". But I was sorely mistaken. Does this make sense? No. No it doesn't. It's bad enough that my favorite pair of jeans, which I bought from you, are now getting ratty to the point where I really can't wear them anymore, without you making things 100 times worse by now failing to carry the short length in that same style. I have resorted to eBay to try and find them, to no avail. Thanks for nothing, jerks.

Furthermore, this post is directed at you, Express. I have been a devoted customer of yours for YEARS, despite the fact that one time an employee at your store committed credit card fraud using my Express card and bought almost $200 worth of merchandise on it. And while I have since cancelled the card, I still shop at your store even though the clothing and accessory styles you now sell are geared more toward teenagers than adults. But I digress. In my effort to find jeans the other day, I attempted to try on some of yours, in what were purported to be your "short" length. Yeah. Those f-ing things were so long on me that even with 4-inch heels on, I tripped over them walking out of the dressing room to look at them in the 3-way mirror. Frustrated beyond all reason, and on the verge of a shooting spree, I left the mall almost in tears, cursing whatever side of the family gave me short legs, and cursing the fashion industry at large for only designing jeans in lengths suitable for a freaking giraffe.

In conclusion, on behalf of short women everywhere, please bring back jeans suitable for the vertically-challenged. Please don't make us have to resort to buying custom-designed jeans that cost $400. None of us have the money, or the time for that. I'm begging you.

Cordially,
Grace

Arachnophobes, stop reading now!

2008-09-16T14:41:00.000-07:00

This is our "pet" spider, Josephine Anne Clifford. (click on the picture to see a HUGE blown-up pic of her...hairs on the legs and all!)

Anyone who knows me really well knows that I'm terrified of spiders. I don't care if they're .000003 inches long or a foot long. The eight-legged, multiple eyes, creepy-crawly insanity usually has me heading for the hills. But Jo, as we call her, is different somehow. So here's the story of how I made friends with a spider.

I was heading out to the back deck of our condo one day to put my (pathetic, dying) ivy plant on the railing so it could get some sun, when I was stopped dead in my tracks by a MASSIVE spiderweb and a spider roughly the size of a Volkswagen. I went, "What in the hell is that?!?!" to which Husband replied, "Oh, that's Joe." For some bizarre reason, giving the spider a name made it less scary to me, and I've actually been cool since then with the thing living on the outside of the sliding glass door to the deck.

You may have noticed the inconsistent spelling of our spider's name in this post so far. That's because we were operating under the assumption that any spider that big had to be male. Well, we were wrong, according to a field guide about spiders that I found on the bookshelf in my room at my parents' house last week. This book was clearly purchased for me by my parents when I was a kid in an attempt to make me less arachnophobic...maybe they figured if I took the time to learn about spiders, I wouldn't be so afraid of them. Yeah, not so much. Anyway, we looked "Joe" up and compared the pictures in the book to what "he" looked like, and then cross-referenced that with pictures on the awesome website whatsthatbug.com, and deduced that "Joe" was actually a girl (hence "Jo", short for "Josephine"...we're weird) and is a garden, or cross spider, Araneus diadematus (for anyone out there who is a nerd).

Jo seems to know that we're cool with her as long as she doesn't come inside the house, wherein she would immediately go squish at the hand of Husband (most likely while I was curled up in the fetal position somewhere in the vicinity of the attic), or else Psycho Cat would use her as a protein supplement to her Iams Weight Control cat food. When we open the door to go outside to the grill or something, she runs up a thicker line of her web to what we call her "upstairs", which is the track for the slider at the top of the door. At night she comes down and hangs out in the middle of her web, where she seriously captures like every bug in Fairfield County. She's very efficient and it's cool (although kind of grody) to watch her either eat her dinner, or wrap it up a la Shelob in Lord of the Rings to eat later.

The one thing we can't figure out, though, is why she hasn't had any spider babies yet. Not that we're complaining, because honestly I don't think I want miniature Jo's running around, even if they are outside. I guess she just hasn't found a mate. And with the weather getting cooler, I doubt if she will. Of course, she could have had her babies earlier in the summer before she "moved in" and we just didn't see them...who knows. Anyway, I know eventually it will get too cold for her or a bird will eat her or something, and then, I will actually be sad. Weird for me to say that, since I've spent all my life cowering in fear from spiders, but I guess we like having her hang around (no pun intended).

Brand-new Blogger!

2008-09-16T14:27:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone!

If you got here, then you obviously know I decided to start a blog. I'm not quite sure what my reasoning for this is, other than to keep people updated on the happenings in my life, but it might also have something to do with the fact that recently I decided I don't take enough pictures, and that having a blog might force me to start doing so (and, um, maybe be a catalyst for me to get a new camera!)

Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it...please leave me lots of comments! Yay!