I hate MS Office 2007. Like, really hate it. I bought my new desktop at home in January of 2007 and shortly thereafter, realized with much rage that MS Office 98 was no longer available to buy in stores. So I had to suck it up and install the new version, which fills me with such loathing every time I try to type a document at home that I want to go on a shooting spree.
In particular, I really can’t stand MS Word 2007. Normally I use Word a lot, both at the office and at home, and good God, it sucks in the new version. I hate the interface, I hate the dumb Calibri font that is the default (instead of Times New Roman like EVERY OTHER VERSION OF MS OFFICE IN HISTORY), I hate how the first time I used it it took me 20 minutes to figure out where the Print option was (because why would they keep the File menu around? It’s only the most standard dropdown menu in ALL THEIR OTHER PRODUCTS), and I hate how it takes you 612 clicks to do something that in an earlier version of Word took you 2 clicks. Have fun trying to insert a text box, WordArt, or a picture, folks!
However, for all my bitching about the rest of the product, at least I have not yet encountered Clippy the paper clip office assistant who tries to help you while you’re typing (for instance, you write “Goodbye cruel world” and he pops up and says “It looks like you’re writing a suicide note. Would you like help?”) Wikipedia tells me that Microsoft discontinued that feature for the new version of Office, and thank God, because man, do I hate that shit. I have NEVER found the office assistant to be useful, at all. Maybe he would have been helpful back in college if he had popped up to say, “It looks like your stupid drunk ass is writing a Spanish paper at 3 A.M. the night before it’s due, AGAIN. Would you like help finding meaning in yet another disturbing, pointless piece of Spanish literature that makes no sense? Or better yet, would you like me to take you back in time to the day you decided to minor in a language and remove the crack pipe from your hand?” Seriously, you type the word “Dear” anywhere in a document and the frigging thing pops up (taking up like a quarter of your usable screen space in Word, might I add) going “IT LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE TYPING A LETTER. PLEASE CAN I HELP PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE I PROMISE I WILL BE EVER SO HELPFUL AND I WON’T ANNOY YOU AND YOU WILL NEVER REGRET PURCHASING A MICROSOFT WORD PROCESSING PRODUCT AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Seriously every time I use Office 2007 I get more and more pissed off and by the time I’m done typing my document I can barely write a coherent sentence anymore. Does anyone know if I can buy a new copy (legally) of Office 98 anywhere so I can uninstall the monstrosity that is Office 2007 on my machine at home?
Rant over. Happy Monday everyone!
Monday, June 29, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Ode to My Car
Recently (over Memorial Day Weekend I think), my car hit 150,000 miles. It got me reflecting on what a milestone that was – I don’t think we think about the amount of life events our cars go through with us, if we keep them around for awhile, and it really made me appreciate my little car even more for all the places it’s taken me to since I bought it in May of 2001.
As a bit of background, my car is a 1999 Mitsubishi Galant ES sedan. I bought it the summer after my sophomore year of college, when I finally had saved up enough money to get a car loan, since my sister was still in high school and driving my dad’s old Audi around, and I needed my own car since I had a summer job. I remember thinking that shopping for cars was easily the most annoying experience EVER – car dealers really do only care about your money and it was a lot of work finding one that I trusted enough to decide they weren’t ripping me off too much. In the end I bought my car from County Line Mitsubishi in Watertown and I have never regretted it since. It only had about 37,000 miles on it when I bought it, and soon enough I started racking up the mileage with trips to and from Bucknell a couple times a year (exactly 258 miles one way). But besides the miles, the car has faithfully rewarded me with almost 10 years of safe and comfortable driving. The only major repair I’ve had to do on it since I bought it (knock on wood) was to replace the radiator this year. And even though I don’t take near as good care of it as I should, like letting a couple more thousand miles pass after I’m due for an oil change, it still serves me perfectly well. I’ve always looked at it as more than a car, because it’s more than a way of getting me from A to B – it’s been with me when I’ve needed to escape from things, when I just feel like getting out and going for a drive, and has lasted me through many, many life events:
--Two years of college, carting my stuff to and from school
--One college graduation
--September 11th, driving home the weekend after it happened for my mom’s birthday
--Seven boyfriends (one of whom, who ended up becoming my husband, asked me out on our first official date while I was out for one of those nice relaxing drives)
--One fiancé
--One engagement
--One wedding
--Five jobs
--Four places of residence, including my first home bought with my own money
--Nonstop trips to and from Daytona Beach for spring break 2003
--One surgery (wisdom teeth)
I’ve cried, sneezed, and coughed on the steering wheel (don’t worry, I clean it often), soaked the upholstery with pool and lake water after going swimming, eaten dinner in it on the way from one color guard practice to another, slept in the backseat, sung along with the stereo, changed my clothes in the passenger’s seat, and screamed out the windows. I’ve been pulled over three times, gotten into three accidents, driven through major thunderstorms and snowstorms, and done a lot of thinking and talking in my car. I’ve gotten lost in it in Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Maryland, Hartford, Virginia Beach, and the Bronx.
I’ve taken apart the dashboard to replace a lightbulb only to discover that I didn’t have the right one, and had to put it back together again. I dropped a CD into the engine and electrocuted myself sticking my finger into the cell phone charger jack while the car was running. I’ve put the mats through the washing machine to clean them, thereby unraveling part of one. I rarely check the oil or tire pressure (bad, I know) and drive the thing on fumes (I know exactly how far I can drive with the gas needle below “E” before I’m in trouble). I stopped filling it up with premium gas a long time ago. I have had the same box of crap in my trunk since my senior year of college, and should really find a better place to store my expensive Marmot sleeping bag. I once had a bottle of antibacterial gel melt in the cup holder. The driver’s side mirror snapped off when a 2x4 came flying out of the flatbed of an oncoming pick-up truck and hit it, and the amount of dead bugs and tree sap on the front bumper will probably never come off completely no matter how hard I try. But it keeps kicking and keeps running smoothly – when I turn on the AC or heat, the car takes about a minute to reach my desired temperature, and the stereo sounds great no matter how high I turn up the volume, and really that’s all I need.
So here’s to you, Car. Thank you for 150,000 awesome miles, and may we have another 150,000 together that are just as awesome.
As a bit of background, my car is a 1999 Mitsubishi Galant ES sedan. I bought it the summer after my sophomore year of college, when I finally had saved up enough money to get a car loan, since my sister was still in high school and driving my dad’s old Audi around, and I needed my own car since I had a summer job. I remember thinking that shopping for cars was easily the most annoying experience EVER – car dealers really do only care about your money and it was a lot of work finding one that I trusted enough to decide they weren’t ripping me off too much. In the end I bought my car from County Line Mitsubishi in Watertown and I have never regretted it since. It only had about 37,000 miles on it when I bought it, and soon enough I started racking up the mileage with trips to and from Bucknell a couple times a year (exactly 258 miles one way). But besides the miles, the car has faithfully rewarded me with almost 10 years of safe and comfortable driving. The only major repair I’ve had to do on it since I bought it (knock on wood) was to replace the radiator this year. And even though I don’t take near as good care of it as I should, like letting a couple more thousand miles pass after I’m due for an oil change, it still serves me perfectly well. I’ve always looked at it as more than a car, because it’s more than a way of getting me from A to B – it’s been with me when I’ve needed to escape from things, when I just feel like getting out and going for a drive, and has lasted me through many, many life events:
--Two years of college, carting my stuff to and from school
--One college graduation
--September 11th, driving home the weekend after it happened for my mom’s birthday
--Seven boyfriends (one of whom, who ended up becoming my husband, asked me out on our first official date while I was out for one of those nice relaxing drives)
--One fiancé
--One engagement
--One wedding
--Five jobs
--Four places of residence, including my first home bought with my own money
--Nonstop trips to and from Daytona Beach for spring break 2003
--One surgery (wisdom teeth)
I’ve cried, sneezed, and coughed on the steering wheel (don’t worry, I clean it often), soaked the upholstery with pool and lake water after going swimming, eaten dinner in it on the way from one color guard practice to another, slept in the backseat, sung along with the stereo, changed my clothes in the passenger’s seat, and screamed out the windows. I’ve been pulled over three times, gotten into three accidents, driven through major thunderstorms and snowstorms, and done a lot of thinking and talking in my car. I’ve gotten lost in it in Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Maryland, Hartford, Virginia Beach, and the Bronx.
I’ve taken apart the dashboard to replace a lightbulb only to discover that I didn’t have the right one, and had to put it back together again. I dropped a CD into the engine and electrocuted myself sticking my finger into the cell phone charger jack while the car was running. I’ve put the mats through the washing machine to clean them, thereby unraveling part of one. I rarely check the oil or tire pressure (bad, I know) and drive the thing on fumes (I know exactly how far I can drive with the gas needle below “E” before I’m in trouble). I stopped filling it up with premium gas a long time ago. I have had the same box of crap in my trunk since my senior year of college, and should really find a better place to store my expensive Marmot sleeping bag. I once had a bottle of antibacterial gel melt in the cup holder. The driver’s side mirror snapped off when a 2x4 came flying out of the flatbed of an oncoming pick-up truck and hit it, and the amount of dead bugs and tree sap on the front bumper will probably never come off completely no matter how hard I try. But it keeps kicking and keeps running smoothly – when I turn on the AC or heat, the car takes about a minute to reach my desired temperature, and the stereo sounds great no matter how high I turn up the volume, and really that’s all I need.
So here’s to you, Car. Thank you for 150,000 awesome miles, and may we have another 150,000 together that are just as awesome.
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