Things That Grind My Gears!

As a disclaimer for this Monday’s edition of Things That Grind My Gears, stop reading now if you are into Jon & Kate Plus 8 (or, Kate Plus 8 as it apparently will now be called).

1. Dude. I don’t know about anyone else, but I am SO SICK of hearing about Jon & Kate! I hate these people, and I don’t even know them. Every freaking media outlet in this country is completely mired in their drama at the moment, and I am sick as all holy hell of it. I turn on the radio? Jon & Kate. I turn on the news? Jon & Kate. I half expect to start seeing mosaics of them and collages of their life in museums. Seriously, media. Stop giving these people attention – that is all they want. He is a douche, she is a shrew. And unfortunately, neither of them, despite their many affirmations to the contrary, gives a rat’s ass about any of their kids, or else they wouldn’t be using them as leverage in their obnoxious he-said-she-said game. I don’t care who was at fault, and neither does anyone else. As far as I’m concerned, you’re both at fault. Watching that show was like watching a real-life Everybody Loves Raymond…husband is a lazy obnoxious pig, wife considered nagging her husband to be as necessary to her daily routine as breathing. I’m serious, if I EVER treat my husband like that, I want someone to shoot me. But I never WILL, because he would never act like Jon Gosselin to begin with, so it’s a moot point. Anyhoo, the people who are really suffering here are the innocent children…and the rest of America, who, like me, just want to stop hearing about this shit 28475682101 times a day.

2. I really like the fall, but the constant fluctuation in the temperature is seriously messing with me. Last week it was nice and cool and breezy, like fall weather should be, and yet this weekend, it was back to being 14 trillion degrees with 90% humidity. I am DONE with summer, I am over it (of course I was over it in June…I really don’t like summer to begin with, but that’s beside the point). PLEASE bring back the fall weather! And please do it soon! HOWEVER, if the gods of Fall Weather could bring it back WITHOUT the accompanying invasion of f-ing spiders into my house because the weather’s getting colder, that would be STELLAR. I swear, everywhere I looked this weekend in my house, I saw a spider. And Husband was not home to go all vigilante on them, so I cowered in fear in my car for most of the weekend hoping that they would all disappear. They did not. I loathe spiders, in case you people were wondering (except for Josephine, referred to in an earlier post…RIP Josephine!)

3. Anyone who knows me (or reads my Facebook page, at least) knows about my deep and abiding love for “Law and Order: SVU”. However, I am pissed at the show right now…so much so that I am ready to break up with it if some changes don’t start happening. We are now 2 episodes into the new season, and like HALF THE CAST IS MISSING. No Munch, no Huang, no Cabot, no Warner; also, little to no Captain Cragen…like HELLO?!?! Bring back my Munchkins please, before I go out of my mind! Richard Belzer is more than half of the reason I watch the show. I am serious, SVU, if you replace him I will be enraged. Also, maybe give Munch more than like 6 lines per episode…refer to the episode “Painless” with Marlee Matlin where he is a huge part of the plot. Richard Belzer is a good actor. He can deliver serious lines as well as funny ones. Why am I the only person who is aware of this?

Look, I am into guest stars and all that, but if you are adding them to the show at the expense of the regular cast, that is stupid. People watch the show for Hargitay, Meloni, Belzer, and Ice-T, not for the guest stars. They are the reason the show has been on for 11 seasons now. Wentworth Miller = not a good actor and a REALLY obnoxious character on the first episode. Christine Baranski (aka Bitchy ADA) = also not a good character, and if she persists for more than like one or two more episodes heads will roll. Dude. Let us hearken back to the purer times of ADAs Cabot and Novak, where the ADA was fair, ethical, and was concerned more about doing her job than putting the detectives on the chopping block for doing theirs. Furthermore, bitchy for the sake of bitchy does not make an entertaining character, in my opinion (hence why I hated “Will & Grace”…I could not STAND Megan Mullaly as Karen on that show). So in conclusion, Show: I need more Munch and less stupid, gratuitous use of guest stars overshadowing the regular cast. Thanks.